Well, my work here is done. Tomorrow I climb back on the bike and sprint for home. I'm looking forward to it. Life on foot is too slow for those of us used to the wind in our face and the rain down the back of our shorts.
Sadly, there will be only four of us returning by bike (Rhys, Nigel, Gabriel, and me). We always knew the risk was there. The Halls of Rai can suck the energy from the best of us. Most of the rest have opted to travel home in a gigantic aluminium tube which will be propelled high into the atmosphere by a series of thousands (if not millions) of barely controlled explosions. It sounds like an immensely complicated system, and even if it all works according to plan, they will still end up travelling at more than 500 miles per hour in an environment with no traffic lights or roadsigns. Personally, I'll stick with the bike.
Which isn't to say you shouldn't sponsor us. It's still going to be a brutal ride. There's a reason you never see the Queen doing charity rides like this. It's not the kind of thing you want to risk your one and only monarch on. Plus, what would you do with the corgis? You couldn't teach them to ride. Their paws would never reach the pedals.
So, come on, cough up some dough so we don't feel like fools. We are still well short of our target -- our promise, if you will, to the CHILDREN OF BRITAIN! Surely they are worth a few thousand of your English pence.